i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
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I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
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he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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