Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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