one might say we're banned from that church
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
