just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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