Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
