Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
