He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
