just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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