I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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