YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
