If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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