Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
