Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize
