Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Randomize
