So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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