Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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