You're my little dorito
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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