What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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