How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
