I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
