are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize