apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
