shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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