R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
