i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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