i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
