This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I enjoy the company of your penis
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
