you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
