i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
