2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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