you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
