well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I am spending my child support on dildos
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
