like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
We're too hungover to prance.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
