insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
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