so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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