you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Randomize
