I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
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By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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