if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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