You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
