Little spoons don't ask big questions
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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