Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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