Small penises have feelings too.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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