What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
