you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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