I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
