i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
My vagina is very pro this idea
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
