The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I think my moral compass just broke
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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