I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
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dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
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I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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