I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
