I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I just gargled with NyQuil
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
