doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
