singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
