My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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