He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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