Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
