It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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