You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
