Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
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