I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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