He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
